Big Brother Natsuya
by randomfanfics98
Summary: Natsuya wanted to see Ikuya grow up on his own, no matter how much it hurt him. Because the worst feeling in the world, is when your little brother hates you.


**A/N: A short little drabble about Natsuya's feelings throughout the Free! High Speed Starting Days movie. Enjoy, and please review!**

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"Why don't you stop pushing him away already? If it's making you feel that upset."

Natsuya wished he coudld actually take Nao's advice. A lot easier said than done. He wasn't running away from Ikuya, all he wanted was for him to open himself up and make new friends.

But that only did the opposite. Distancing himself from his little brother made Ikuya more resentful, angry, and even antisocial. It hurt Natsuya so much to see Ikuya hate him. To have his little brother, one he had tried to protect all his life, hate him, was the worst feeling in the world.

He couldn't go back to Ikuya now. He couldn't force him to become more social. That was something Ikuya had to do on his own. As much as that big brother instinct wanted to reach out and protect that fragile little boy, wrap him in a big hug, Natsuya couldn't force himself to do it. Maybe he'd left Ikuya on his own too early. Maybe he hadn't been a good enough big brother. Those were things Natsuya would constantly blame himself for, even if Nao tried to convince him otherwise. Nao was a good friend, but he was an only child. He wouldn't understand the struggles Natsuya went through as a big brother, and as a role model.

Then he saw Asahi, Makoto, and even Haruka. A glimmer of hope shined through his lost cause that was his brother. The hyperactive Asahi managed to somehow convince Ikuya to join the swim club, disregarding how much Ikuya didn't want to be anywhere near his brother. Makoto came off as the type of guy that could make anyone open up to him, by just being there. As for Haruka, he was just a little weird. Sure he was good at swimming. Hell, he almost beat Natsuya in a race on his first day at the club.

But after that race, Natsuya noticed something, something only he could notice from being around Ikuya all these years. Ikuya was staring at Haru with eyes of jealousy. No, that was wrong. It was more like the eyes that used to look up to Natsuya when Ikuya still adored his big brother. This much was obvious: Ikuya had found someone new to look up to. Someone to strive for, to work and become similar to. Haruka and Ikuya were already so similar to one another in terms of character, both the quiet type, of few words.

Those 4 were hardly friends from the start. They couldn't even swim the relay as a team correctly. But Nao saw them grow. He trusted Nao to at least be able to train them, so they could swim as a team. He didn't need anything more. To those four, he was simply the captain of their club. But as time progressed, he could see the bond between them grow. Even if it looked like they were becoming more annoyed with one another on the outside, Natsuya knew better. He could tell what was beneath the surface, at least on Ikuya's part.

Then there was the day all 4 were late for club, almost skipping it entirely. While he didn't want to show it in front of his members, Natsuya was worried sick. What if something had happened to Ikuya? What if he got hurt and big brother wasn't there to help him? Would he become an irresponsible big brother in that sense? Would Ikuya hate him even more than he already did?

But Ikuya came back, even if the other 3 had to drag him back. He was different, somehow. In that short span of time that he was gone from the club that day, his demeanour had changed drastically.

"Big brother, I understand what you meant now. I will no longer be behind you." Those were the words Ikuya said that made Natsuya believe, maybe all that he had been doing this whole time, was worthwhile.

Seeing the group of four interact with one another during the rest of that practice, laughing, practicing their relay exchanges, it was clear they had all become friends somehow, not just a group of teammates.

And to Natsuya, that was fine. Because he wouldn't have to worry anymore. Because his painful mission was over. He could finally return to the close relationship he once had with his little brother. He could embrace him once more, protect and love him without having to worry that Ikuya would become overly-dependent on him. Ikuya had learnt to stand on his own, and his big brother was proud of him.

Natsuya wouldn't have to worry about Ikuya anymore. He was strong enough on his own now. They were both strong. And Natsuya knew, his little brother would continue to grow stronger, with the amazing friends he had.


End file.
